Posts

Altered States

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Being ill is like being in water.  A shower, a bathtub, a swimming pool or the ocean, it’s a state of being which gets in the way of anything else you might want to do, Whatever ambitions, needs or desires you have are in a state of suspension, because whatever is going to happen next, you first need to get out of the water. I got ill at the end of 2007. I was diagnosed with ME ( Myalgic Encephalomyelitis / Encephalopathy ) in the summer of 2009. Having ME is like being in the ocean. Every movement or action is weighed down by the pressure of being submerged in water. You move around, go through your day, submerged in water, but eventually you have to stop, to rest, because just walking across the room is a feat.  Sometimes, you think you can see the promise of normalcy, land on the horizon, so you rally what strength you have and start swimming. But the land is actually far away, and before you make any significant progress, you break under the weight of the water.  The analo

Best Spelt Bread Recipe

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  Ingredients 500 g spelt flour, whole or white 350 g lukewarm water 1-2 Tbsp sugar 2 Tbsp olive oil + more for greasing 2 tsp dried yeast 2 tsp salt A few rolled oats for decoration (optional) Method Combine sugar, yeast and water and leave in a warm place for 10 minutes (or until it blooms) Combine flour and salt Make a well in the flour and add yeast sugar water and olive oil Combine well until the dough comes away from the sides of the bowl Knead  in the bowl with a spatula (or hands) for a few minutes (3 - 5 minutes) Cover with a clean tea towel and leave to rise in a warm place for about 2 hours Grease a loaf tin Knead again for a minute and shape to fit the loaf tin Put the dough into the tin and spead out to fit the shape of the tin (sprinkle with optional oats now) Leave to rise for about 1 hour Heat the oven to 220° (190° fan assisted) Bake on a lower rack for 25-35 minutes until the loaf sounds hollow when you tap it Lay a clean tea towel on a cooling rack Turn the loaf out

One Sock - Writing as Therapy

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Below is a journal entry, from Wednesday 13th May.   The intent was to write about the sinking feeling I was experiencing, mentioned at the beginning, but by the end of writing this, I just felt fine. A stream of consciousness, cataloguing the main events of the previous 48 hours, or so, it illustrates to me the benefits of journal writing. It ends quite abruptly, because it had served its purpose. Nuuna Voyager notebook with worn, holographic edge. The pen is from BilTema. "Two calendar months in lockdown.  I feel like I'm sinking. For some time today, I had one sock on, remedied only by Vincent pointing it out to me, then realising that I was aware and didn't give a shit, he took off the one sock, so I was sockless. The socks in question were my black, wool socks that I wear to  work , inside my warm, waterproof walking shoes. I haven't been to work today, so why was I wearing them/it? Well, I went to work yesterday, with full mo

Learning French vs. Learning German (on Duolingo) A Visual Aid

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I'd heard many times that German is hard, because of the grammar.  I like grammar, I thought to myself.  No. (apologies for the poor image quality)

My Music Muddle

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So, I had one of those massive, 4th gen. iPods. It was top of the range at the time, I'd bought it when I was working and it served me exceptionally well for years. I spared no expense on the dock - a beautiful Bose dock with a remote control. I'd download all the music I wanted and I had playlists and everything was hunky dory. 4th Gen iPod with Bose SoundDock Then my iPod died. I needed to replace it, but was now unemployed and couldn't justify spending so much money on something non-essential - I have my phone, right? And that plays music, so why buy a dedicated music player? That was my thinking. So I tried that. Problem #1 is that the phone's not compatible with the iPod dock. We have a sound system, which Noah keeps adjusting the bass on (because it's his sound system!) So every time I go to use it I have to adjust the bass and the thing is behind the sofa. I also need to scrabble around looking for the cable, because it's never in the same p

What Men Need to Know About Women by Caitlin Moran

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Published in The Times, September 26th 2015 It is the eternal cry of men: “I don’t understand women!” Women are mysterious to men: they do not understand why we take so long to dress; the number of shoes we need; the way we can suddenly lose all confidence. Our excitement about tiny things – tiny cups and saucers, tiny monkeys, tiny ribbons. A tiny ring. But those really are the tiny things that you don’t understand. It doesn’t matter if you never understand those things at all. Here are the two big things that men truly don’t understand about women. The two things that, if you knew them – if you truly understood – would change the way you act, and raise your sons to act, overnight. The first is: we’re scared of you. Not all of you. Probably not most of you. We feel safe with our fathers – unless we have been unlucky; and our husbands – unless we have been unlucky; and our friends and brothers – unless, again, we have been unlucky. But we are scared. Of

Abandonded Greenhouses

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